When knew they didn’t give you those cool glasses to wear when you saw a 3d ultrasound? And who knew the baby doesn’t suddenly pop out of the screen at you squealing “Mommy!”
Oh well, it was fun to see my punkin’s kidneys, heart, feet, toes, and even tongue. He looks healthy, and yes, it is officially a he. Which leads me to another point:
I feel a bit bad about voicing my recent feelings, because, well, logically I know they’re upsurd. But, as I’ve become aware of the fact that I may not be the only one who’s thought these things, I’ll go ahead and take it for the team. I found out that I was having a boy three weeks ago, though my Doc said “Don’t paint the nursery.” So I didn’t, and I secretly sort of thought, maybe that thing sticking out between the legs, was, well, something else. It was worst the first few days. The idea seemed completely unnatural to me. How could I, a girl, birth a boy?! Wasn’t that about the same as birthing a monkey or something? I mean, boys are supposed to be from Mars right? Aren’t girls supposed to come first so there’s a second mother around when the other kiddos come? What about that beautiful blessing dress I envisioned making? Tom, always the rational one, laughed at my crazy confusion and assured me that he and I are in fact of the same species. Why do I feel so weird about having a little boy kicking around inside me then?
This is when the deep inner gears of Kjirsti’s mind start churning, stirring up all sorts of strange and ponderous ideas.
I’ll share a few, with the stipulation that if you read these personal thoughts, you’ll share a few of your own in the comments. (Agreed?!)
Maybe, I’m unsure of what sort of mother to be to my sons. Do I want to be the adoring type- who’s sons always call her an “angel?” The kind who’s sons can do no wrong?
Or am I going to be more hard-edged and demanding? Always expecting more and assuring that her sons are tough and successful.
I’ve always had a special relationship with my Mom, we can sit and talk for hours, but I’ve never got the sense that my brothers can do that. Not just them and Mom. Maybe I just missed those moments.
The first child, is by nature, included more in the individual life of the Mother. It’s easy to imagine gardening with a little girl, having her play as I teach voice lessons, taking her shopping, and cooking with her. But do little boys like sewing? Then I get excited and think, well maybe a little guy will bring out my inner tom boy. We’ll all wear nothing but blues and greens, no need to fill my house with pink. We’ll catch frogs together, play soccer, and roll in the leaves without worrying about getting dirty.
Aren’t boys typically more chill? Less dramatic? (Ok, I can think of a few exceptions.) Maybe motherhood will actually be an easier transition with a little guy because I won’t have to worry about having his hair curled and bowed, or even making sure he has a variety of things to wear to church- just switch up the tie! Perhaps, it will be better to not have a “second mother.” I think girls by nature take on more of the home responsibilities, and perhaps having a brother at the head, will keep him from feeling unhealthy pressure.
I’m always wishing I had a few male students so I could have them sing all the terrific male songs in the Broadway repertoire. Imagine a sweet boy soprano?!
I miss my “jock” days. Perhaps they’re going to have a comeback. Give me a couple years and I’ll be coaching his soccer team.
I guess it’s good we’re having a boy first, we’ll probably save money that way. I won’t be tempted to buy those beautiful little dresses and adorable shoes. We all know little fellas are cutest in jeans and a t-shirt.
So, I guess after a month of letting it sit in, I wasn’t so shocked yesterday when the sonographer wrote “It’s a boy!” on the screen where she identified the private parts. The idea is starting to excite me in fact. He’ll have six older cousins to look up to, seven great uncles, two inspiring grandpas, and a fabulous dad. He’ll probably turn out okay.
6 responses to “3d Ultrasound”
Kjirsti, you’re so cute! Having had a boy first I’ll tell you, it’s wonderful. I always wanted a boy first because the eldest in my family (growing up) is a boy and somehow that was always comforting, having an older brother to watch out for me and our other siblings. As for what to do with a boy… They do what you do. Noah loves to help cook and clean, he loves singing and dancing, we also play with blocks and spend a good amount of time kicking and throwing balls in the backyard. From my experience, he’ll adore you no matter what you do.
Now, for feeling a little bad for voicing your opinions and/or apprehensions about having a boy, it’s so good that you do it now instead of when he’ arrives. I’ve had friends (and friends of friends) who really, really wanted a girl (usually after a string of 2 or 3 boys and knowing this is their last child) and had to go through a mourning period after discovering they were having yet another boy- better to go through it beforehand than to let the depression and anxiety hit when you’re little sweetie arrives. You’re going to love your child, there’s no doubt about it, but it’s good to deal with all the “what if’s” and “how to’s” now so you can just enjoy the little dude. And don’t worry about being too girly or anything around him, you’re his role-model for what a woman is and even though he’ll be around you (1 on 1) quite a bit, he’ll still develop his own interests and ways of playing independent of you- you’ll be amazed at how hard-wired these boys are to do boy things and think and play the way boys do. You and your little boy will have a blast together!
Beth,
Thanks so much! Your comment was comforting and humorous. Wise advise!
I love your little comics.
Also, you should know that you will be all of those types of mother at one time or another and many more that you didn’t even know you had in you. For the good and bad.
I’m so excited for you. A bouncing baby boy! What does that mean anyway?
Loves.
-Cicely
To open with a disclaimer, we are clearly biased, but we have loved having a boy first and second. I’m not sure if the stereotype is accurate which suggests that boys are less emotional than girls. They are filled with plenty of emotion but may manifest it differently. Sure, a parents relationship with a son will be different from a relationship with a daughter in some ways but there is always plenty of common ground to enjoy together.
Can I just say, your boys are the very reason why I”m okay with this whole boy thing. Actually, we’re pretty excited- and only getting more so as the reality sinks in.
I really wanted a boy first and was a little disappointed when we found out we were having a girl. I wanted an older brother for the rest of my kids to look up to because I’d always wanted an older brother growing up. But after the initial, oh it isn’t a boy, I was fine because, hey, cute clothes!
I agree with the comments above. You will be all those mothers at different times. I think that’s the best way to be. You’ll know when to defend you son with the “He can do no wrong” and you’ll know when to demand more. The hard thing is, it’s tricky figuring out the balance–or at least it is for me. It’s what I struggle with the most, other than my temper. As for boys and moms talking and having those special moments, I think that’s all up to the mom. Do it from the very beginning, talking to your son, asking him questions, and then validating what he says. Letting him know you’re listening is how to keep him talking.