Mixed thoughts


I have been reading a lot about Schubert, in preparation for my comprehensive exams, and was struck by the fact that Schubert was considered unsuccessful in his day. He focused his attentions primarily on the private sector of music- four-hand piano pieces, dance music, and lieder, the sort of music that would be performed at home while entertaining company. He wanted so badly to write operas or grand symphonies like Mozart or Beethoven. But his pursuits seemed in vain. (Now of course his symphonies are played and admired.) It struck me, that Schubert, more content with entertaining his group of friends, or writing for his family’s string quartet, is now considered one of the greatest composers of all time, and yet he was only briefly in the public eye during his lifetime. (He only lived 31 years, so that didn’t help.) It reminded me of a conversation I had with Mr. Bamberger, the opera theater director at CIM, he expressed how some of the highest quality work he has ever done had been in community theaters, even though he worked at New York City opera for years. Schubert is proof that one can achieve mastery over a skill without ever gaining fame or fortune, the two are not linked. Therefore, I need not base my ability as a singer off of the recognition I gain from others.

I have been enjoying watching the Olympic ice skating events the last few nights as a way to relax after rehearsal. Wednesday night I watched only the clip that showed the gold winners, the incredible pair from China. Their pairs performance was near unto perfection, and I found myself so inspired by the ease and beauty of their performance, as well as the delight they obviously got from their ability to skate at such a high level. I thought, all these years of vocal study have paid off, if only in the increasing joy I find in singing as my technical abilities expand. Yesterday, Tom showed me how I could find the entire event- not just the clips of the winners. I watched the Estonians and the Polish pairs, the French and Canadian.  I was so glad I did. Why, because I reminded that you can be performing at a very high level- perhaps the highest level your country can produce and still fall out of triple axles. It was inspiring to watch them grimace at their mistake but then pull themselves back together and finish the routine with poise and focus. It was a good “pep talk” in preparation for my opera performances next week. I am going to go up there and sing as well as I can. I may not remember to keep my hips tucked, breath pulled up, neck back, jaw hung, soft palate stretched and lips relaxed all while I think trilly and relaxed. My B’s may not be as good as they were in my lesson yesterday. Or maybe they will be, but either way I will do my best and be content with the knowledge that I am a journey of progression.

Lastly, a great quote:

“Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.” -First Presidency


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