A family in my ward is adopting a little girl from Kazakhstan this month. I talked with the mother and two daughters today at church and was touched by their excitement. I was impressed by the long process they have patiently gone through in order to welcome their youngest boy and now this daughter into their home.
I got thinking about adoption when I read in the scriptures about caring for the poor and fatherless earlier this week. Are we really taking care of the fatherless/orphans? Am I? What am I or will I do to care for this large population of people? I have long admired those who have weathered the exhausting courses of adoption. I’ve oft exclaimed that if I were to go into politics my main platform would be adoption reform. It should not be so difficult and expensive to help lift a needy child from a desperate situation. Every month and year wasted in paperwork is time in which that child suffers from lack of proper nutrition, lack of adequate love and attention, lack of intellectual stimulus. In reviewing some government statistics I saw that a very small percentage of couples who begin the adoptive process actually finish it, why? It’s just too difficult.
The number of people who are adopting is rising around the country. Most adoptive couples are those who first struggled through various fertility treatments. As women are putting off having children until after their career is established, more and more are finding their natural ability to have children is not so natural anymore. The simple truth is women are biologically conditioned to be more fertile earlier in their lives- their twenties being the best time.
From a religious point of view, I’m surprised there hasn’t been more encouragement of adoption. I believe the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force. But what exactly does that mean? Is it enough for souls to just have bodies? Why are so many children sent to disintegrated homes, situations of depravity, or lands deplete of opportunities? I have a great desire to provide a home in which children can feel loved, supported, and encouraged. A home in which children are taught to hear the simple whisperings of the Spirit, and where they can safely develop a relationship with their Savior. But might I be able to provide that environment to children who, already born, are destined to be without it?
I have continually struggled to wrap my mind around the reality that people of all different abilities are sent children. I know abusive mothers, absent fathers, who have had child after child, and yet I have know stable, caring, loving couples who have tried and tried with little success of bringing a child into the world? Why? Is infertility just a way for the Lord to encourage us to turn our attention to the “fatherless” of the world?
I don’t have answers. I’m curious about your feelings. What do you think?
4 responses to “Adoption”
THank you for your feelings on adoption. I’ve wondered a lot of the same things: why faithful couples struggle to adopt when there are others who seemingly disregard the sacred role of parenthood. I have a dear friend who was abandoned at around 9 years old. She and her siblings were forced to make it on their own… scavenging for food(stealing it when it couldn’t be found) and lived in a home without heat, water, or electricity. She’s the strongest person I know, largely because of her testimony and the faith of her adopted parents. Learning her story really opened my eyes to the reality of what so many children face. And it makes me feel a greater obligation to fill my role as “mother” with greater love towards my own children as well as others the Lord puts in my path. …. PS, I think you would make a powerful politician. =)
I share your passion for the adoption situation although my desire to help would defiantly not be through a political plat form. I hope to someday have the money to create a trust fund or organization that can facilitate smooth adoptions from third word countries with the option of financial help if needed.That battle is that many cant afford to adopt and so a natural birth is the only way.
You know, I’ve never thought of it the way you put it, but i have to agree with you. Coming from someone (me) who while i have not yet tried any fertility treatments, I’ve been unable to get pregnant (5 miscarriages) I’ve had to do a lot of soul searching and contemplation on what lesson I am to learn with it. I can tell you I’ve been given the peace I need, but I still don’t understand either. We def. thought about adoption. I like how you put it in perspective though. Not everyone will be able to have their own children. I pray for those children too.
What an interesting and important discussion. When I am faced with difficult questions about life it always helps me to take a step back and look at the entire gospel plan. For some children, love and family may not come until the afterlife, but eventually these blessing will be available to all. Perhaps serious need is necessary in this life to help us learn charity. Both the giver and receiver can be edified by service, so I can see how the Lord would allow for great needs to exist, such as those of orphans or widows, needs which require a tremendous outpouring of love to meet. As defined in scripture, true religion is all about caring for the widows and fatherless. There is definitely so much we can all do, as disciples of Christ, to reach out and touch the destitute with God’s love.