Perhaps it is the fact that our blog was down for a few days or maybe because Tom was out of town this weekend and I was therefore left alone, but lately my mind has been racing with thoughts and questions. As it is already 10:00 I’ll be brief, but I want to express some of the things I have been thinking about, for my own record.
My mind continues to puzzle over our situation with Charles- the electrician. Every day we seem to find more ways in which he deceived and took advantage of us. I guess I’m not quite sure how to make sense of it all. I keep wondering what we should have done differently. At what point do you stop trusting someone, at one point do you declare someone a failure and fire them? Tom and I were both uneasy the entire time Charles was working for us, but being trusting people we just kept letting things happen, and then I think we just got to the point were so much had been done wrong that we became apathetic. I wonder if sometimes we trust others but do not trust ourselves. Would it have been so judgmental had I listened to my gut feelings and never hired Charles in the first place? Charles is not the only contractor who has been dishonest with us, it seems we attract that type. How do you learn from these guys and not allow yourself to be taken advantage of, but at the same time maintain your trust in others.
A few days ago I had a few other things add to this web of thoughts. I was listening to “NPR’s World have your say.” They were discussing Texas’ capital punishment law. People called in from around the globe discussing their opinions, interestingly the callers were from Iran, South Africa, and another African country, i want to say Congo, but I think that’s only I’ve been reading a lot about that. They interviewed a women who’s daughter was brutally murdered many years ago and asked her opinion as well as a woman who heads an association against capital punishment as well as the head of the capital punishment department (I’m sure that’s not his title) in Texas. I was sicked by the news that the family of the victims are actually invited to attend the execution. This man talked about the need for vengence. Vengence, I can’t say I’ve ever felt vengeance, I hope I never do. The concept is entirely foreign and even repulsive to me. Now, certainly be cheated by an electrician is no where close to the offensives these people have had to deal with. But I sincerely hope that if anything like that were to happen to me or to someone in my family, that I would respond as I have to this situation. Certainly with a large measure of confusion, but in the end with pity on a man who has obviously established a lifestyle that will only haunt him the rest of his life.
On a more light-hearted note. I’m not exactly sure when I developed a love for the elderly, perhaps it was my love for my own grandparents, or perhaps it was Jack, the elderly man we would visit at the rest home all growing up. Perhaps it was all the visiting teaching visits with my mom growing up. Despite its origin, I have a real need for the elderly in my life. Whenever I leave a visit with a “grandma” as I often call them, I find myself enlivened, centered, and often enlightened. I realize life is not nearly as serious as I so often make it out to be, and I start to have a more elongated view of life. I haven’t found my grandma in Cleveland yet, or so I thought. I didn’t realize it until yesterday, that I have yet to accept this house as mine. I still think of it as the house of the previous owner, a 90 year old woman. I feel like I’m taking care of it for her. Yesterday, while I was supposed to be cleaning the basement, I was entranced once again by one of her storage rooms down stairs. Insides are rows of shelves with neatly arranged aqua painted coffee cans. In each are one or another type of doo-dad, screws, cabinet handles, sponges, used paint stirrers (what do you call those things?), There are probably 20 different bottles of various sprays: one for returning glass to it’s original luster, another for cleaning carpets, another for removing rust, yet another just for scenting a room. There is a big jar of paint thinner. And on any square inch of open space there is a nail, hammered in haphazardly where something once hung. We have been told that this woman had a LOT of stuff, and we don’t doubt it. I can’t believe how many shelves there are down stairs. I could just chuck all of the stuff, but I love it. I feel a bit like a child, that has just discovered a secret room. Within each item is a story. Why did she choose to keep 6 containers of silver polish. How much silver did she have? How often did she polish her silver? Did she entertain a lot? What hung on all these other nails? What did the crystal handles come off of, some vanity or chest of drawers- why did she change the handles? What did she use the glue for (I was sure deligthed to find that, as I was bemoaning the fact that I was going to have to go out an buy glue for a pot I splurged on and then broke.) I crystal polish sure enhanced by little pot from the Morads. I wonder what other little jewels lie down there? I’m so grateful for the grandmotherly presence in our home.
(I apologize to any of you readers as this post is definitely just the ramblings of my thoughts.)
Other bits of updates about us.
-I was delighted to have Tom back after his being away at a Neuroscience conference from Sat-Tuesday.
-I caught the bug that has been going around. Luckily it hasn’t completely wiped me out, just slowed me a lot.
-I finished priming the kitchen.

-I bought the paint for the kitchen.
-The opera is over after four successful shows. I’m happy to have my evenings back, though I really enjoyed the chance to meet a lot of people and be in a show once again.