Last Saturday our Grandma Myrtle hosted a BBQ. It started out with three couples and kept expanding until we had 16 people. Myrtle and I experienced a lot of joy anticipating the event. We talked about what to serve, who to invite, how to seat everyone, etc. We went shopping together to purchase all the food. I learned how to pick ribs, what chicken is appropriate for BBQ (breasts are for baking!). The night of I arrived early to learn the secrets of dressing up canned beans and store bought potato salad. When I spoke to Myrtle the morning of she said, “You know, I’m so excited about this!” I arrived at her home to find her made up and looking beautiful. The dinner went off wonderfully. Myrtle’s BBQ ribs and chicken were honestly the best I’ve ever had. Her beans were perhaps the highlight of the night- who knew baked beans could be so sublime. Myrtle proomised me she’s teach me how to make them before I move. The secret ingredients: mustard, nutmeg, cinnamon, sugar, butter and of course bacon.

Myrtle feels most comfortable in the kitchen, in the background. I’m always encouraging her to come out and be a part. Slowly as we’ve had these events I’ve seen her emerge more and more from the servant role to more of the host. This time she came out and hollared at everyone that it was time for prayer! Still my most intimate moments with Myrtle are always around the stove, in her tiny kitchen.

I was so proud of Scotland on this visit. Myrtle has a small circular glass table that is covered in small souvenirs and nick-nacs from around the world. They are precious to Myrtle, and oh so appealing to youngsters. Scotland’s eyes always light up when he sees the table. Each time we’ve come we work on how to interact with the table. “These are just to look at.” “Keep you hands in your pockets.” There have been many unsuccessful visits as his desire to touch and play with the items made it impossible for me to visit. Last week when we were over, Myrtle gave him a talking to when he touched one of her nesting dolls. This week, he walked around interestedly but didn’t touch a thing! (On another note, when we all sat down to eat dinner it ended up being women at the table and men at the card table. Scotland was sitting in his high chair next to me. He must have noticed the disparity because he requested to be moved to “that table.”)

This event taught me again the importance of establishing events in people’s lives- things to look forward to. Myrtle had a really rough January and February. Her arthritis flared up painfully and she got in a car accident that left her very sore and bruised. And yet, every time I called her she would say, “I’ve got to get better, we’ve got to be ready for our BBQ!” Seeing her dressed up and even perfumed made me so happy. I’m so grateful for the opportunity I’ve had to know and love Myrtle. The last few visits have been bittersweet as she’s said: “I wish you didn’t have to move, I’m going to miss you.” I always joke back. “What?! I thought you were coming with me!” She smiles and we talk about her visiting. . .