After much contemplation, I decided to participate in “This is Kirtland” this summer. It’s a musical theater production our church puts on to honor the people who sacrificed so much to establish The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I’m not proud of the way I approached the auditions and first rehearsal, but I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned since. I have a desire to blog about this because of it’s “turning” nature in my life, but doing so means exposing some of the uglier sides of my nature, which is never fun. However, I believe acceptance is the first step to change, and so I’ll proceed. 
I’m a professional musician. Over a decade of training has given me not only experience, but ego. All high and mighty I decided to “lend my services” to the play. Looking back, I’m embarrassed, humbled, for though I’ve only attended an audition, a call back, and one rehearsal, it is clear that I will be taking more from this play then I could ever imagine giving.
The director’s dedication to excellence is inspiring. Her preparation both spiritually and mentally is incredible.  She may not tout the honors and accolades of my previous directors (and for all I know, she may), but her insight and devotion may surpass theirs. One of my main concerns was wasted time. If I was going to sacrifice so much time away from my family, I wanted to make sure it was time well spent. Our first rehearsal was structured entirely differently than any rehearsal I’ve experienced before. A large chunk of time was spent talking about the  legacy the musical is based on, the director talked about finding truth in one’s character so that  genuine emotion can be presented. Her comments were deep and powerful. One man talked about methods for conquering fear- on stage and in life. The result was a “turn.” By the end of the first rehearsal my heart had softened, commitment and excitement replaced the proactive frustration and pride, unity spread through the cast.
At one point during the first run through I confused which character I was playing. The girl next to me said- you’re playing Eliza. I felt stupid for my confusion, but then it hit me- I’m Eliza! I had dreamed of playing Eliza this summer- just a different Eliza, Eliza Doolittle. My eyes teared as a confirmation swept over me that this is the Eliza I was meant to play this summer. Portraying Ms. Doolittle would have been fun, but playing Eliza R. Snow may very well be life altering. 
Enlivened by the vision of the Stake Presidency, the director and my fellow cast members, I returned home Saturday excited to learn more about the woman I’m set to enact. I poured over article after article about this incredible woman. (This one particularly touched me. I highly recommend it.) It dawned on me that in all my acting, I’ve never portrayed a real person. What a fun new challenge! 
And so my research has begun. You’ll be hearing much about Eliza, these next two months. Perhaps she will inspire you the way she already has me. 

O my Father, thou that dwellest
In the high and glorious place,
When shall I regain thy presence
And again behold thy face?
In thy holy habitation,
Did my spirit once reside?
In my first primeval childhood
Was I nurtured near thy side?

For a wise and glorious purpose
Thou hast placed me here on earth
And withheld the recollection
Of my former friends and birth;
Yet ofttimes a secret something
Whispered, “You’re a stranger here,”
And I felt that I had wandered
From a more exalted sphere.

I had learned to call thee Father,
Thru thy Spirit from on high,
But, until the key of knowledge
Was restored, I knew not why.
In the heav’ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a mother there.

When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I’ve completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.

-Eliza R. Snow