I’m realizing more and more that in many areas of life style and practicality compete. The balance can be tricky. White cupboards are stylish but they aren’t practical. High heels are stylish by they aren’t practical. Keeping fabric and “stuff” for crafts can be practical, but makes the style of minimalism difficult. Decorative pillows are stylish but rarely practical. I waffle between these two extremes. I’ll go through phases where I want nothing but jeans and solid colored t-shirts, and maybe three pairs of shoes; and then, sometimes a week later, I’ll despair over my boring wardrobe and limited shoe selection as I seek something more expressive, more creative. I’ll obsess over short haircuts- something new, fresh, edgey; and then the spark will fade and I’ll stick with my long straight- easy to pull in a pony tail do. Does everyone feel these bipolar shifts of desire?
 
Scotland has started “acting out” a little bit. (A real little bit) but nonetheless I’ve noticed him griping more, tantruming a bit, and just being more moody. After a busy week I decided to really focus on him today. I’d read a terrific parenting book, “The Three P’s of Parenting.” The author suggested that children act out out of a need for security, and they feel secure when they are given attention. I was curious if Scotland would be less moody if I spent more time with him. Sure enough, he was the sweetest little boy today. Hmmm.
 
Last Saturday we had the missionaries over. We served creamy chicken tacquitos with sides of black beans and green salad. I had prepped everything but had to run and pick up Myrtle and so Tom had to finish the preparations. I ran through the final steps and laid out how I wanted things done. (I wanted the tacquitos served on a certain dish, etc.) I returned to find Tom finishing the final steps. He hadn’t scoffed at my desire to present a lovely meal, instead he caught my vision and ran with it. He set separate salad plates, and little side bowls for the dipping sauce. I fell a little more in love with him that night, appreciating that he respected and echoed my desire to serve a beautiful meal.
 
I continue to marvel at the joy and fulfillment I have found in motherhood. I know I must sound like a broken record, but I keep waiting for the appeal to wear off, and it hasn’t.  I love my little guy. I love interacting with him all day. I love creating dialogue for his facial expressions, paying close attention to understand his needs, laughing at his “jokes,” and watching his face light up when he discovers a new skill. I enjoy “keeping house.” I appreciate the open schedule that allows me spend time with others. I revel in the challenge of making the most of these simpler years. 
 
I spent five hours tonight at the tech rehearsal for the Christmas Play I’m directing at church. It’s been an eye-opening experience. Despite lots of experience in the theater, I had no idea of the scope and magnitude of the director’s responsibilities. Decisions as varied as light placement to costumes to line delivery ultimately fall to the director. Especially in amateur settings, it is the director who answers questions about sets, backstage safety, rehearsal scheduling, and mic placement. Despite the exhaustion I’ve felt, the experience has been thrilling and has only confirmed my hope to some day direct on a larger scale.