I recently read this article from the NYTimes. Zachary Woolfe makes the argument that charisma is the spark that great performers have that can’t be explained. The article left me wondering- Do I have charisma? (Here I go tooting my own horn, but this is my private blog, you all love me right?) I think I do, but I don’t know that I’ve always let it free. A conservatory training taught me a lot of things, mostly positive, but one was to adhere to certain standards- too often at the expense of sincerity. When I was in high school I sang to communicate, I sang to move. In college I sang to prove myself. I hope I never forget the shift that took place in my approach half the way through my final Masters recital. I know I’ve talked about it before, but it stands as a pivotal point in my vocal progression. I sang my first set with technique in mind, I sang it with my checklist in mind. The set finished and I was disappointed.  For the second set, I held on to the academic side of my singing, but let my acting and personality loose. Then standing in the hall preparing to enter for the fourth set I decided- “Forget it. This is my recital. I’m doing it my way.” I had wanted to introduce my numbers, but nobody does that at a conservatory. I had scripted in my mind what I would say, but nervous that my teacher would be scandalized I had decided against it for the first half. But determined, I plunged in for the second half. It went like a dream. I couldn’t have been more pleased. I sang from the soul- held nothing back. The energy was kinetic. The audience laughed, cried, and several expressed after that they were deeply moved. 
When I told Tom about the article, he said “Isn’t that [charisma] just confidence?” My immediate reaction was “No, it’s. . . ” but as I thought more about it, I think he’s right. Charisma is the confidence to let ones spirit soar. 
I followed the last month of “So You Think You Can Dance.” I loved it. Melanie Moore stole my heart, like she did the rest of the nation’s. I was amazed at how down to earth she was, how genuine she was. She has what Woolfe tried to describe- that inexplicable spark. I found myself googling her name afterward, wanting to know all about her. What are her parents like? How did they raise such a grounded girl? How does one gain such intrinsic assurance? Here she was becoming a super star and you got the sense that it really didn’t matter that much to her, she didn’t inhale.
I consider myself a fairly confident person, but when I’m being judged I immediately try to be/do whatever I assume the judges want. Instead of saying “Here’s what I’ve got, take it or leave it?” My approach has been, “I can do whatever you want me to do.” It’s no wonder my best auditions were always the ones when I said, “Who cares, I’ll just go sing.” 
Oft times when I’m rocking Scotland longer than need be, or spending “extra” time with him, I wonder if a Mother’s love is at the root of one’s confidence. If my children know without a shadow of a doubt that I love them and believe in them in everyway, will they have the necessary foundation to “care less” about what critics say?